Wilson: “my best was playing T-Ball.” He had his very first T-Ball practice this afternoon!
Maggie: “my best was going to Wilson’s program this morning.” This was a lot of fun. Wilson has his first school program where his class sang about 30 songs that they’ve learned over the last year. Apparently they’ve learned 128 total songs.
Phil: “my bests were going to Wilson’s program, and also going to his first T-Ball practice.” These were especially meaningful for me, so to just call these ‘bests’ in a long list of daily bests is sort of underappreciating them.
This boy of mine is so like me in the area of fearing the unknown. This characteristic of his has been selfishly therapeutic for me as I in many ways am able to relive certain unpleasant memories of my childhood, but I now get to do it through the mind and with the perspective of an adult. So today when Wilson entered the auditorium in single file with the rest of his class, I immediately saw the fear on his face as he fought to keep himself from crying at the prospect of having to see an ocean of unknown faces. Though I’m not sure whether or not he felt it, I can vividly remember that fear coupled with the thought of, “What if my parents didn’t come? I don’t see them anywhere and they’ve talked about how they dread having to come to every little event at school. Maybe they just couldn’t squeeze me in today.” Again, I don’t know if he felt that or not, but the look on his face was awfully familiar to me.
So what can you do for a little guy who is seconds away from emotionally falling apart in front of a huge crowd of adults all staring right at him? I did what I would have wanted done to me – I made sure I grabbed his attention and made the goofiest face I could think of. And he laughed out loud.
In the same way that I knew that scared crumpled up face, I know that laugh too. That laugh didn’t mean that I’m the funniest guy he knows, though I do vie for that spot. That laugh is the laugh of relief, comfort, safety, and a dash of recognizing humor.
Knowing that I am trusted by this young one, and knowing that he feels safe & loved by me was my best.
T-Ball practice was an uncanny repeat of the morning’s event. Unfortunately I was late so I missed the first half of it. But by the time I got there the little man was already in tears. Apparently, the coach had lined the boys up and told them to “run the bases” one at a time. Sounds easy enough, but when you don’t know the first thing about any diamond-involved sports (heck, you don’t even know what clockwise means) and you don’t know which base is which, it’s entirely understandable that you might take off towards third. And if that happens, it’s entirely possible (likely?) that you will have at least three grown, strange men (a.k.a. “coaches”) all yelling, “No, no, the other way!” Of course, every one of these men were yelling in a positively motivated way, but how, as a fearful four-year-old with perfectionist tendencies, do you know this? Well, time and experience, of course, will eventually be the best teachers for this boy.
Thankfully, I was there in time to talk with the boy and help calm him down before he insisted that he hang up his bat, ball and mitt for good. Oh, and his helmet which is crucial in the event that “the ball might go WHAM! right on my head.” Ah yes, you’ve thought the whole thing through, haven’t you son? Well after about 10 minutes of encouragement and of showing him that the worst scenario indeed tends not to be the norm, the smile and the laugh were back. This boy WANTED to run the bases. This boy WANTED to hit the ball. This boy WANTED to throw & catch.
Honestly, personally, I don’t like playing catch. Never have. It hurts my arm (hence my wicked sidearm sling action), it’s monotonous, it’s downright boring. But this boy needs his dad and he wants to get better at T-Ball. I am thankful to be given the opportunity by a good and loving God to spend time with my son, even if it’s doing something he wants to do and I don’t. It’s as if He set the opportunity up on my own personal “Tee”, and I’m glad I can say that through His grace, I hit a home run today.
So again, knowing I am trusted by this young one, and showing him that I love him in spite of my own personal comfort was also my best.